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Posted on 08.22.08 by Mics @ 3:09 pm
If I have a mirror in front of me, I know what I would see. A sad and stressed look on my face. I am in the middle of a battle against laziness at work. As I have mentioned before in my past entries, I’ve been having a hard time feeling sad and lonely lately. Though that is not the case right now. I am sure that I am just stressed at work. No loneliness or anything of the sort. Now, I wonder if the loneliness I felt before is related to the stress I get at work. I continued thinking about my situation until I finished eating my dinner of Pork Adobo. I then had to decide whether I should ask for hot tea to be prepared for me or just ask for hot coffee instead. I asked our maid to make coffee for me. It is my second cup today. I continued pondering about what I should do about my problem. I read some article yesterday that made me wonder if I am just experiencing “ego-tripping” because I feel like I’m too good for my job right now. Could I be feeling that instead of some other valid reason that I came up with? I finished my coffee then went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I leaned on the wall staring at the shower and started thinking of reasons on why I really wanted to leave my job. I looked at the clock and an hour has passed since I last entered the bathroom. If there’s anything clear to me right now, it’s that my bathroom is definitely my thinking place. Filed under: In Which I Realize Comments: None |
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Posted on 07.07.08 by Mics @ 6:33 pm
Tonight I binged. My mom made Turon with Togue as filling. I hated it before when I was younger but now I started liking it. Sinawsaw ko pa nga sa suka. Ang sarap! I ate too much. Now I’m bloated and I feel like throwing up. When I went to the toilet I recalled last night’s GMA7 Documentary “Kalam”. How can I throw up the excess food I ate when there are families who can’t even afford to eat 3 times a day. Some of them are too poor to even buy rice. The spoiled rice they have is still food for them just as long as it doesn’t poison them. Tatandaan ko na lang to whenever I try to binge. So now as punishment, I’ll workout before I sleep for 2 hours. Filed under: In Which I Realize Comments: None |
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Posted on 06.15.08 by Mics @ 10:18 am
I love playing games. I particularly like playing MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) because it’s fun and you interact with other players as well. You can become who you want to become, be strong, get rich, and popular. It all depends on how you decide to play the game. So lately I’ve been having the same problem of being burnt-out at work. I work at home and yet it seems that I’ve nothing else to do besides work. What’s bad about it is that I get lots of it that resting alone proves to be a tough task because it won’t always be guilt-free. For the past few months I thought that getting lots of work is the reason why I’ve been having this problem. It turned out that it isn’t. Which takes us back to my love for games. I used to be a gamer. An avid one. Now I’m totally off of it. Work takes up most of my time right now, besides sleeping and eating. Just a few weeks ago I’ve started playing games again. Sims 2, Age of Empires 3, and the most recent one is Cabal Online. Playing these games made me realize the reason why I was so depressed with how things are turning out right now. And that reason is, because I don’t level up anymore in real life. Life is a Game indeed. You work hard, you get better opportunities. You learn more skills, you become stronger, or wiser, and then you get better opportunities. It isn’t important that I get popular or I get promoted at work or I get better salary. Yeah those are fun to have but what I really want is to gain more knowledge. To actually level up. I used to study in-between work. Learn more skills. I enjoy all those. Now I don’t have time to do them anymore, or If I do get free time, I’d use it to rest. So that’s why I feel like I haven’t been moving forward. If my life must be lived the way I play a game, then so be it. I am so turning my life into the biggest game I’ve ever played! Filed under: In Which I Realize Comments: None |
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Posted on 06.11.08 by Mics @ 6:12 pm
3 days after returning from a 1-week vacation, I thought that I’d be pretty charged up for work. Turned out my condition just got worse. I clearly realize now how unbalanced my life is. That saying “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” completely applies to me now. And. I’m pretty friggin’ tired of it. It’s not that I’m not contented with what I have. I have almost everything I’ve wished for now. But that’s the thing. They are all THINGS. In the morning I wake up then eat breakfast, take a bath, then start work. Only stopping to eat and rest a bit. All my hobbies before are all gone now. Everything eaten up by work. If I die tomorrow, I’d be known as the hardworking daughter. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m giving in to my body. To what it wants to do at the moment. If I don’t feel like working then so be it. If I get fired from work then let it happen. Atleast that’s something new in my everyday routine. Just do whatever the hell makes me friggin’ SANE. The End. Filed under: In Which I Realize Comments: 2 Comments |
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Posted on 05.09.08 by Mics @ 1:27 pm
An emo friend is tolerable. I’m referring to those that just want to slit their wrist for the smallest problems that the good world tosses them. A melodramatic friend is also tolerable. By this I mean the ones that want to be the leading man/woman in his/her own not-so-dramatic-life. But the worst thing that could happen to you is to have a friend who is both emo and melodramatic at the same time. Trust me. I know. Because I have one! It’s not bad to be emotional at times, or to try to be the leading actor in your own drama. What’s bad about it is that you automatically cast your friends in your movie like they volunteered for it. I’m a dreamer myself but I know how to differentiate real life from made up ones. At first I thought it could be the same but I learned that it’s not. And if your life turns out as such then it’s either you’re a pretty damn lucky bastard or you’re just making it all up. Let’s take Mr. Leading Man as an example. This guy keeps saying that he’s nice and all and yeah he’s somewhat nice but he’s definitely not the nicest guy I’ve met! I mean c’mon, how can anyone nice just say that voluntarily about themselves huh? I’d say someone’s pretty stuck up to admit that. Anyway out of all the self inflicted dramatic moments he has churned out in the past years of us knowing each other, last night was by far the worst and most foul of all. I decided to just talk to Mr. Leading Man out of the blue to say hello and ask how he’s been doing. Another reason for me talking to him is I wanted to know how he’s dealing with the recent resignation of 4 of his co-workers in their company. One of them being his bff. I worked there before and the company’s pretty sucky at dealing with their employees. Mr. Leading Man is now one of the managers there and his bff, let’s call him Mr. Japanophile, is also one of the managers there. The other manager is Mr. Leading Guy’s girlfriend, let’s call her Ms. Leading Lady, who besides being the manager, is also in charge of the accounting and handling the company money part. With the recent resignation of Mr. Japanophile and 3 of their co-workers, Mr. Leading Guy is pretty pissed off being left by his loved ones to go off to a better place. It would be the case to him but Mr. Leading Guy is so attached to the Slightly Sucky Company and with how he defends the company despite the obvious malfunctions of the Slightly Sucky Company’s big boss’s brain, I will just assume that Slightly Sucky Company Boss is feeding him some strange ginseng that clouds off all Mr. Leading Man’s judgment. Mr. Leading Man doesn’t understand why they would leave and leave him in a strange position as the manager. Also Mr. Japanophile has threatened to take matters to the Department of Labor and Employment if they won’t give him his 13th month pay. So Mr. Leading Man is pretty riled up at the idea of the company closing down if the law figures out all the bad stuff going on in Slightly Sucky Company. I’d say it’s not going to happen being in this country and all. The under the table and all that crap is pretty rampant here. Anyway, Mr. Japanophile is pressuring Ms. Leading Lady to process his request or else… and this adds to the pile of reasons that pisses off Mr. Leading Man. He was telling me about this last night and I was advising him to talk to Mr. Japanophile about cutting them some slack and giving them more time to process this. But he just kept on talking about how the ones who left never thought of the ones that are left in Slightly Sucky Company. How they’d think of themselves only, not caring about how hard it will be to deal with the loss of four artists. I told him he should just let it be and it’s natural to just look for a better company if they can’t take the maltreatment anymore. He said that he can’t believe how his bff can do this to him and that’s what hurts him the most. I told him I couldn’t believe that he would react this way knowing that a true friend should actually be happy for his friend getting into a better company that I’ve heard treats and pays their employees very well. Not to mention providing an equally awesome work experience just like in Slightly Sucky Company. And then he was probably pissed off that I wasn’t siding with him that he just told me to just go stare at my bankbook and I’m obviously not the right person to talk to about this. Uhmm…ok. I know I’ve heard that line in some movie/drama before. Has he been assuming that I wasn’t enjoying my current job that provides me joy, pays me well and treats me so well? I have always stuck to my principles that it doesn’t matter whether I get treated badly just as long as I can enjoy the work I do. But that doesn’t mean that If I see a better opportunity, I would just ignore it and be a martyr all my life. C’mon. I’m definitely not a saint and I don’t want to be one. These sucky companies deserved to be left if their treatment of employees is pretty sucky as well. It’s life mahn! And you move on. Now I do respect him sticking up for Slightly Sucky Company. I mean that’s how he wants it so it’s ok. But how can he expect everyone around him to feel the same? And the entire conversation last night has been pretty childish. And yeah I’m pissed off because I don’t expect too much from him but what he did was just low. So if you get a friend who is both emo and melodramatic then by all means, ready yourself. It’s either you be one of the cast or you just stir away from the camera. Filed under: In Which I Realize Comments: None |
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Posted on 04.21.08 by Mics @ 1:01 am
As far as tasks can go, the most important one for me is taking care of one’s health. You might think it’s loving one another first but taking care of yourself is also a way of loving the people who care about you. You also can’t help anyone when you’re in bad shape yourself. Well you could, actually, but you could do it easier when you’re in better shape. I am not the best person to give health advices as I am one who neglects it a lot as well. I’m slowly trying to change my ways though. Tomorrow, my mom is scheduled to have her general health check-up at the hospital. I’m really scared right now. She’s very scared as well. She told me earlier that she fears that her gallbladder stone which has been her illness since she was younger might be on a stage where she’d need an operation. I hope she isn’t right. I think that her condition has become better compared to when I was younger when she used to have nightly pains because of that. I feel my body getting weak just thinking about it. I always tell them that any problem is ok, just not anything related to my family and their health or relationship with each other. I pray to God that her results will turn out ok. Please pray for her too. Thank you. photo source: stock.xchng Filed under: In Which I Realize Comments: 2 Comments |
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Posted on 04.16.08 by Mics @ 10:23 pm
For the past few hours I’ve been scanning through my past blog entries and I have yet again found myself in the same position I have been in the past few years. Mouse cursor right on the delete button. I can’t believe I am still blogging when all I’ve been doing is letting my life run me. It will probably make more sense if I say that I should have been running my life instead of it running me. I am no lucky girl in movies and dramas I watch where it seems like everyday is a not-so-normal-day. Also you must trust me when I say how much I love blogging. But don’t ask me where my past entries are because I’ve deleted them all. I’ve kept a few blogs before and almost all of them has gone to the blackhole of the intarweb. The remaining ones are discontinued and long-forgotten. So back to the main problem here. What seems to be the purpose of my blog? Well, I just want to keep a journal of my life along with the things I always do, places I go to, etc. It seems pretty simple yeah until you read 2 years of your posts and all you can read is how you woke up in the morning and spent the entire day sitting in front of the computer and slept in the wee hours of the morning. Honestly. I wouldn’t even read my own posts even if I was bored. Oh, but on rare occasions that I do. I always end up deleting my entire blog. There are only two solutions I could think of and those are: 1. Just stop blogging entirely If I keep waiting for something different to happen in my everyday life then I’d probably just have 1 or 2 blog posts each year. I’ve decided to take on different tasks that I could do just for the heck of it. It could be fun or not, interesting or not, but hell, atleast it’s something different from what I usually do. And it’s probably the right time to start taking this blog to where I originally planned. Filed under: In Which I Realize Comments: None |


